I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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