At least make sure they are 18
Why
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
