I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think i got beer on your cat.
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