Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
