please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
