how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize