glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
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He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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