where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize