I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I need to sanitize my soul.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
