Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
