I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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