remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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