Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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