1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
