He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
