I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
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well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
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I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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