I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
