I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I will be naked everywhere
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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