i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
