if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
