Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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