yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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