so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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