Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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