Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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