I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
