great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize