Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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