non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
