At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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