She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My pussy is not your playground.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
