So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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