I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
