At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
