I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
