He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
