Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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