Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
