we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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