he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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