I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Damn victory sex feels great
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
