Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
