I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
