Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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