also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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