I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
