My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
