Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Everytime we come here you have an ex here.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america

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17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Read it at the TFLN blog
(501): View more from Arkansas

Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.

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(315): View more from New York

My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD

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(630): View more from Illinois

I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair

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