So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
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I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
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It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.