I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so let's talk penis.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.