Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.

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  (401): My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study. http://tfl.nu/037f
  Replies (17) Good night (2555) Bad night (740)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...

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  (810): I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work... http://tfl.nu/jjaa
  Replies (30) Good night (6274) Bad night (1116)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  you should give me head with plastic fangs in

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  (618): you should give me head with plastic fangs in http://tfl.nu/ku60
  Replies (59) Good night (2459) Bad night (8890)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.

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  (845): I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey. http://tfl.nu/3eol
  Replies (12) Good night (1309) Bad night (4140)
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  (845): View more from New York

  At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.

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  (845): At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep. http://tfl.nu/7ean
  Replies (2) Good night (2279) Bad night (895)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.

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  (908): I think I actually have rug burn on my eye. http://tfl.nu/mvqe
  Replies (5) Good night (1050) Bad night (1876)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.

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  (480): It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos. http://tfl.nu/s5gg
  Replies (4) Good night (912) Bad night (2663)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?

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  (409): Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall? http://tfl.nu/ymbz
  Replies (7) Good night (2611) Bad night (973)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to

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  (336): Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to http://tfl.nu/huat
  Replies (4) Good night (1617) Bad night (645)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now

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  (314): she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now http://tfl.nu/v305
  Replies (5) Good night (2122) Bad night (714)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.

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  (585): I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in. http://tfl.nu/1xha
  Replies (4) Good night (608) Bad night (586)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.

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  (519): I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person. http://tfl.nu/mw9z
  Replies (4) Good night (933) Bad night (381)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.

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  (901): I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy. http://tfl.nu/38oe
  Replies (6) Good night (443) Bad night (1018)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!

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  (412): i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt! http://tfl.nu/8lpp
  Replies (5) Good night (852) Bad night (421)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood

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  (971): I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood http://tfl.nu/1kq9
  Replies (0) Good night (537) Bad night (174)

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