vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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