last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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