I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Bring me that man meat
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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