You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
