check it out our google latitudes are spooning
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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