It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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