Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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