that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
