I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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