Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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