So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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