I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize