We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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