So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
