Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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