this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
