Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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