can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
