Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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