We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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