It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
