just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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